New blog and website

Note as of April, 2014: Hello All! I am consolidating my writings into a new blog- Walking in Wholeness: Insights into God, Medicine and Healing. I will no longer be posting to this blog, so I invite you to subscribe to the new one! Thanks and God bless

Friday, September 30, 2011

Glimpses Into God's Healing Process

I'm a bit rough around the edges. The hardships I have gone through in life have given me some jagged spots. Yet God is polishing me into an eventual diamond. I don't know what kind of rock I'll be by the time I enter Eternity, but I know I won't be the same shabby old pumice that I started out as when I gave my life over to him in 2002. Back then, I told Him to do whatever He wanted with me, but to please give me peace. That peace has been a decade in the making, and the process continues to this day, but I can honestly say He's been making good on His promise.

I haven't agreed with His methods. Nope, I've kicked and screamed most of the way. Because when I envisioned God bringing peace to my life, a beautiful, tranquil island scenario is what came to mind-not some fiery furnace where (ahem) all of my rough edges would be burnt away by trials.

I don't believe God ever willed for me to get a neurological disease that would cause dysfunction in all of my organs. I don't think He assigned pathogens to drill holes in my brain. I don't believe He meant for me to lose my home and job, and to have to move seven times in seven years due to physical disability. And I know He cried with me as I wailed daily in despair for over half a decade. But He has used the process, paradoxically, to bring me to a greater place of peace.

I believe that God wills for His beloved children to be well, and that He is able to heal them. But as I mentioned in my book, Healing Chronic Illness: By His Spirit, Through His Resources, He may allow disease for a time, if the process of illness will teach us strategies that we need to regain our health. I'm not saying He needs us to be sick to make us into better people -indeed, sickness is from the pit of Hell-but He may use our infirmities to teach us how to pick up and use the weapons that He's given us to fight disease.

And I don't just mean vegetables, vitamins and viral remedies. I mean, the power of His Word, and revelation of the truth that He loves us, wants to prosper us in all areas of our life, and that yes-He has the desire and ability to heal us. Truths that most of us assent to on a mental level, but which we struggle to assimilate into our hearts, because life has beat the crap out of us.

It's taken me years to understand that God is healing me. My cells yet lag in the understanding of this great power and love towards me, but I'm starting to get it, as He uses me to pray over others, and I witness Him touching their hearts, minds and bodies through me.

As part of my healing process, He has shown me, time and again, that I need to learn to change my thoughts-with His help, of course. Still, at times, I whine and make the excuse that I don't have enough happiness-inducing neurotransmitters in my brain to think His thoughts. I protest that I've been through too much trauma to believe in His promises- but He always comes back to me with the rebuttal, "So you think your past and disease are greater than my Spirit?"

Yes, my battle with the flesh may be stronger than that of the soul who frolics about the pulpit on Sundays, all bubbles and bounce, and my knowledge of what disease does to the brain sometimes works against me, but He is my warrior. He stands beside me and fights for me when I cannot fight. He enables me to think my way back to His perspective, whenever I choose to go to Him.

He has also used medicine to heal me. Seven years of integrative and alternative medical treatments have either brought the party of Lyme disease pathogens that I suffered with into remission, or eradicated them completely. No test exists to definitively determine their exit, but ART (an advanced form of muscle testing) shows they aren't causing me symptoms anymore. Ironically, my book, Healing Chronic Illness was published exactly one day after my doctor declared me to be free of these infections. As if to show me that writing a book to tell people that He is their healer wasn't in vain.

God is still healing the damage that the infections caused in my body, though, so I'm once again being stretched in my faith. Yet because I now know that His will for me is health, I believe that a deeper healing is yet coming. I stand in faith, even if some days, I still cry.

It's okay. I don't need to be perfect. Neither do you.


  1. Great post, open and honest and inspiring! I pray this place draws all those who are in need of comfort and encouragement. God bless.

  2. Connie, I sat here crying as I read your blog. It could have been written by me. I'm going through the season where I feel God has given a rock and not the bread I asked for, He isn't hearing my pleas of healing or lessen the pain, all those promises aren't meant for me. And now I'm struggling back from the miry pit to hang on to His words. And here you are!!! with such wonderful encouragement. Thank you.

  3. Hi Renee,

    Thanks for your kind affirmation :). Please do feel free to pass this on to others that you think would benefit from it. Hugs and blessings, Connie

    Hey Sally,

    I am sorry that you aren't feeling God's touch upon your life right now. Know that He understands and that those promises are for you, too. He is no respecter of persons--meaning, He loves us all the same. But I get where you are at, and I have often railed at God with the same sentiments, thinking the promises are for everyone but me. What usually helps me is being honest with Him, and then crying out to Him until He gives me peace. Sometimes, it takes a couple of hours and many tears to get to that place of relative peace (literally)! but most of the time, I receive some measure of encouragement as a result of going to Him with my pleas and contentions. I encourage you to do the same, and wait on Him for a response. There is no good answer to the question of suffering, and when life is hard-for years- it can be a struggle to believe Him for better things ahead. And the most difficult question of humanity seems to always be, "Is God good?" Our circumstances challenge that notion. But He always promises to be there for us, and to redeem everything that the enemy has stolen from us. I hope this helps a little. Sending you cyber hugs from afar,


  4. Oh Connie it helps tremendously!!!Been crying out to Him and just plain old crying and He is finally giving me some peace. This morning I told Him I felt like He gave me over to satan but even so I knew He was here with me and finally after month's of darkness has given me some peace. Thanks again and God bless you

  5. Connie - What a beautiful start to a your new blog! It has already been a blessing to me and I know it will for many others!!!! Ill check back often!!! Praying for you!!!! xoxo Meredith

  6. sally, i can ditto your words. and thx connie for sharing. your new blog came at just the right time. i tried to commit suicide this week. obviously, it didn't work and people are telling me i should be happy that god still has a purpose for me. but to live a life of misery and pain and despair - no money for gas in the car or to buy a loaf of bread this week and hearing very angry words from our landlord (we've already moved 3xs in 3yrs and may have to again)where's god in all of this? oh, i'm a mom of five so this doesn't make things any easier. so i'm off to cry out to Him until I hear his voice right now as you've suggested

  7. oh, i've had lyme for 12 yrs. i was bitten the day i delivered my 5th baby and have been told by 3 lyme docs i'm in the top 5% of worst cases in the US. we've incurred 3.7mill in medical expenses, are completely broke, and i'm still not well nor have any money left to get well. been prayed for by the elders of the church, gone to healing services, have 10,000 Haitians praying for me every week,etc... yet????

  8. Hi Moriah,

    Wow, I'm sorry to hear of your trials. I am glad that you are still here and believe that He has you here for a great purpose. I know that medicine can't help a lot of people with Lyme- which is partly why I think God had me write a book on supernatural healing- because He can heal when all else fails! Maybe you know this, but just because you haven't seen a manifestation of His healing yet and been prayed over many times, doesn't mean it won't yet happen. Sometimes there are conditions that have to be fulfilled -strongholds that have to be broken in the spiritual realm (I encourage you to read Christ the Healer or my book for more info. on that) - but I believe that He is faithful to show us how to pray as we seek and trust Him. I know hope and belief are hard when you have lost so much, but He can even give us those things. He doesn't blame you, Moriah, and He loves you just because you have chosen to seek Him. I just ask Him now, in Jesus' name, to restore your hope and encouragement- to show you the plans that He has for you; to infuse your spirit with peace, and to bring provision in a new and mighty way- in your finances, health and relationships. I encourage you to immerse yourself in prayer with Him, daily, and allow Him to show you what He desires to be for you. Hang in there and know He can sustain you when you cannot sustain yourself-especially when you can't sustain yourself! (remember the footprints poem?). I hope this helps a little. Blessings, Connie

  9. Very powerful! I will read this again and again! I need to be reminded of this often as I kick and scream as well.

  10. Connie, you are an inspiration to all. I too put my faith about healing in the hands of Jesus. I do believe it will happen. Thank you for your wonderful and moving words.They continue to help me understand the difficult road to health with Lyme and putting trust in God.Sending blessings.