Prophet Doug Addison (www.dougaddison.com) has mentioned several times over the past couple of months that God's people are in a season of change, and that God is bringing new alignment and new assignments to those who love and follow Him. As this occurs, He is also uprooting and removing the old and unprofitable, to make room for the new and to heal what has been broken or lost in people's lives over the past decade.
The truth of Doug's words has been hitting my life like a hurricane; in the seemingly insignificant, as well as larger, aspects of my life. Over the past six weeks, I have witnessed radical changes in my health- greater energy and stamina, sounder sleep, a stronger, clearer mind, fewer tears, and renewed hope in my spirit. It has been a welcome departure from the crushing insomnia, fatigue, depression and "God-just-let-me-die" hopelessness that has assaulted me since last October. Never mind that the devil has retaliated by incapacitating my right arm with carpal something-or-other and that last weekend I discovered two hollow black circles on my back which sent me into an emotional tailspin. Only after I received some intense prayer was I able to convince myself that even if I did have a skin cancer, it wasn't melanoma, and God would get rid of it because He's been pretty clear with me-through a thousand and one prophecies and in my personal conversations with Him- that He's nowhere near done with me yet.
I know good things are coming. I know it because the devil is nipping at my heels with new problems just as healing and other blessings are being placed in my path. The enemy's tactics have become tiresome, and in my weariness, I can't help but wonder on some days if my writing career will halted by the pain in my arm or if I will really see the fulfillment of all that God intends for me. But then He reminds me to look at what He has done in my life thus far, what He is doing, and what He has promised to do, and as I do, joy touches the edges of my heart, and my spirit is encouraged.
The winds of change have also sent new work opportunities and acquaintances my way; new friends, spiritual mentors and business contacts. As part of the removing of what is unprofitable, God has been pruning-and even uprooting- my relationships. Sadly, as part of this process, I had to say goodbye to one of my best friends- somebody I loved very much- but God's strength and peace accompanied me as I made the decision, knowing that it was for his best and mine to let the relationship go.
But that's not all. God's hand has been moving me to new places in my healing ministry, and I have witnessed more of His love, presence and power whenever I pray for others.
God has been changing the little things in my life, too. For example, He's encouraged me to start buying my groceries directly from an organic farm. To join Pilates again. To set up a new work station at home. Things that don't seem like much, but which are a larger reflection of the work that He's doing in me, and part of the season of change that I, and so many others, are in.
I still don't sleep great some nights and I can't get up before 9 AM most days. I can barely work at the computer because my arm is on fire (and this may be, in fact, the last post I do until I am healed of the problem). I wish I could climb mountains and roller blade like most people my age. And as my 38th birthday approaches, regret over the years that I have lost to trauma and disease yet nags at my soul.
But the tide is turning, and God keeps sending me a singular, powerful message; See what I have done, and am doing in your life, and be thankful for these things! Praise Me for my goodness. Keep your eyes on My promises- those which are being fulfilled, and those which have yet to be fulfilled. Don't look down at your feet, where the enemy is nipping at your heels. Look up at Me; focus your gaze Heavenward, and thank Me that my will is being accomplished in your life.
His admonishment is that my gaze would not be on the black spot on my back; that I would not catastrophize my inability to write; that I would not tell myself that my newfound feelings of wellness are part of some temporary high. That I would realize that the new opportunities that He's given me aren't just another means for my survival; but rather, seeds for the ultimate fulfillment of His plan for my life.
I don't believe God wants to make our lives perfect. The prosperity gospel is a farce. It wouldn't fly, anyway, in parts of the world where hardship is a daily reality. But God does make certain promises to those of us who would believe in Him and His love for us. He promises to heal us; in body, mind and Spirit. He promises to make us co-laborers in His kingdom, which means giving us the mind of Christ, and the power of the Holy Spirit, to set people free, from the bondage of sickness, soul wounds and sin. And He promises to provide for us, if we trust Him and follow His lead.
I don't understand His ways, and why the fulfillment of His promises isn't always immediate. But if there is one thing I'm learning- it's that when I thank Him for what He has done for me, it opens the door for me to receive more from Him. Whenever my gaze shifts to His work and His hand upon my life, rather than upon the enemy's meager attempts to destroy me, my faith grows, and more of His blessings are released into my life. It's not a performance thing; it's a spiritual law, and a principle of the Kingdom of Heaven.
So I praise Him for today; for Jesus, for life eternal, for healing, and, for the winds of change, which are sweeping away the debris and what is unprofitable in my life, to make room for the new.
May you be blessed in this season of change, too.